Friday, August 8, 2008

Sexy Sex

Last year I was reminding 7th graders about their baptismal promises. I was asked by one of the students what is the “false glamour of sin”? My immediate response was sex and violence. Around the same time Mrs Germanicus and I attended a series on Theology of the Body. Below is the result of those conversations. Serviam! Don’t blush.

On a related note I recently claimed that 80% of our formation ought to center on sex and violence. Given our cultures obsession with both I think this has become the obvious challenge of our age. Our ability or inability to confront, give adequate reasons for and provide well reasoned alternatives to the issues of sexuality and violence will determine if the Church is a voice involved in shaping and driving the conversation and therefore the culture of the 21st century or is forced into the background of reaction and survival. I believe we spend too much time memorizing and regurgitating pre-packaged apologetics while ignoring the crisis in our own homes. Anyway I am making lots of bold statements and I expect someone to correct me.

“[E]ach person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire conceives and brings forth sin, and when sin reaches maturity it gives birth to death.”
Do not be deceived, my beloved brothers:
all good giving and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no alteration or shadow caused by change.” [James 1.13-17]

“Where do the wars and where do the conflicts among you come from? Is it not from your passions that make war within your members?
You covet but do not possess. You kill and envy but you cannot obtain; you fight and wage war. You do not possess because you do not ask. You ask but do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions.” [James 4.1-3]

God created both the body and sexuality as a good gift to be enjoyed but not in order to “spend it on our passions. That is the difference between “sexy sex” and “sacramental sex.”
Sexy sex is what the media tries to sell us and what we lure our selves with. The porn industry is built on sexy sex and the abortion industry is supported by it. Homosexuals practice sexy sex and so do most heterosexuals. Sexy sex is simply sex for my pleasure; sex for my benefit. Sexy sex uses the other to get what I want. Many catholic couples also practice sexy sex when sex becomes the means to satisfy the self.
Sacramental sex on the other hand is based on loving the other. It is what the church tries to teach us and what the spirit living in us ratifies. Sacramental sex is what was missing all those times sexy sex did not satisfy. It is based on totally giving yourself to the other in love. Sacramental sex is free, full, faithful and fruitful.
We have been a sold a pack of lies about sex. It is neither the ultimate good nor is it the ultimate evil. Sex is something created by God to show us who he is and what he wants to do. The human body and all its desires images God. We desire to be united to one another in sexual union because God desires to be united to us in spiritual union. A husband and wife love and cherish each other within sexual intimacy like Christ loves and cherishes the church in spiritual intimacy. The Holy Trinity is described as an eternal exchange of love. Could it be that the climax of sexual union is intended to be a physical expression of that divine mystery?

Jesus reply to the teachers of the Law when asked about divorce was “Moses allowed you to divorce because your hearts were hard but in the beginning it was not so’ Marriage and sacramental sex were created to exist within soft hearted relationships. In other words if you are selfish and hardhearted there will be divorce; Perhaps not officially but in the heart. Sacramental marriage and sacramental sex requires a soft heart and a soft heart loves. If this is true in our relationships with each other is will also be true in our relationship with God because if you will not love your wife, whom you can see, how will you love God, whom you can not see?

1 comment:

Laura The Crazy Mama said...

Good points. I like the Bible quotes.

Just out of curiosity...I would like to know what happens when we teach this stuff to teens and they SAY they "get it" and even quote back to us and seem to stick to their beliefs about it...then...they slip up and somehow get pregnant. I would love to talk to some teen/young adult who really really believed what they were taught (theology of the body type stuff) then went ahead and "did it" anyway. It seems to be sort of a taboo topic with the families or the people themselves once "it" happens. I wish young married couples and engaged couples could speak to how hard it is to abstain before marriage but maybe talk about the rewards it brings at these kinds of speaches/talks.